SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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