I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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