pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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