rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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