i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
