I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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