why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
