we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
