Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wear drunk well.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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