Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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