this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
