Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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