the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
