Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
