this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
