so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
