u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
