Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
