Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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