Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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