Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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