Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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