I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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