I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
