apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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