Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
