I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
