You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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