Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
