its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
