so that wasnt chicken after all
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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