Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
