i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
