3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
