After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
