And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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