No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
