The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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