I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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