butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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