I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
