It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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