absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
