I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
