I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
