Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
