see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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