Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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