I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
