It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
