We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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